i feel useless. actually i am useless. it dawned to me how frail and weak i am, physically, mentally, spiritually and not to mention, sartorially.

i wanted to regain my cycling skills a few days ago. hah! guess wad, i can't even find my balance while on the bike. it made me look and feel incredibly lousy, like a kid learning how to ride a bike. i would take the first few steps forward before landing/crashing down with a thud. regain skills? i can't even ride straight now. uncanny as it sounds but i felt really awful because of this especially i recall i suck at swimming too. you're pathetic janard, you can't swim bah, now u can't cycle too.

then, the top problem of my jc life haunts me again- 2nd cca. after so many setbacks and failures, i'm not sure if i have the courage to ask for volleyball again. wad basis do i have to convince them to accept me? i have no volleyball bckground as my credentials nor do i play exceptionally well for them to look at me in awe. i'm just mediocre, or perhaps elementary, i haven touch vball for ages. i seriously hope cheer accepts me and i'm gna do my best if i get in. anyway, i do hope i have the perserverance and determination to run for CTC exco. at least, make my jc cca shine, or glint even just a little.

on top of that, i can't even do math now. maclaurin's series is such a bitch becuz i have no fcking idea how to do the tutorial questions. not to mention the stack of geog readings piling up which i haven touch or only touched like 3 pages? econs is alr a goner so yea, lets not talk abt it. literature is still ok, except i nid practice on more poetry analysis and practical criticism. shugs, academics is screwed up.

basically, my whole life is screwed.