decided to make it a separate post. it's still bothering me abt what happened yesterday. should i have been more hard-hearted and dun go yesterday? i knew i should have, i should have stood firm by my decision but i still went. there, i tot i was being responsible and not abandon my duties to the already insufficient ppl who will be gg. wow, doesn't pay to be nice though i will probably be rebutted that i'm obliged to go, it's a necessity becoz it's official. oh yea? like hw many din go due to the parents factor which was supposed to be my reason too, but i snuck out and still went. what an idiot.

pouring out all my unhappiness abt yesterday. mind you, it's only yesterday, if i really wna rant abt the whole year or the entire 3 and the half years, prepare jugs of coffee to stay awake and read. for the comfort of all readers regardless of the parties involved or just curious mice, i will try to use simple abbreviations/shortforms when blogging in case some of u dun know who i'm toking abt and end up v confused

firstly, thruout the whole of yesterday, what i felt was those who were left to run it were ignored, were completely forgotten except occasion visits by them to take stuff or to pull ppl to take part in their holy ceremony even though the ppl weren't appropriate. i dun understand why there is even a need for yesterday. not enuff manpower and expected poor attendance, aren't these enuff reasons to cancel it? asking for something to be host yet doing nth to help, doing nth to bother, doing nth to even find out what's gg on is a huge waste of time.maybe u all got alot of time but i dun, we dun, our time are precious. and asking to be respected but does not show why is what i deem hypocrisy.

secondly, i can't stand how some of them just abuse their authority to taunt others. 'pls consider carefully' sounds as though a choice is given, as though the decision will be well-respected regardless of what it is. however look at the reply after a few sentences of conversation. 'why cannot?! u all dun wan to go what so!' makes one feel as though he/she is being scolded and blamed for not participating for an event when previously it's thought that the decision will be stood by and not be bombarded. what contradiction, i dun even know why they are able to obtain such positions in the first place. is it becoz they themselves promoted the act of backstabbing and bootlicking in the past so that they can climb to the top? probably, that's why birds of the same feather flock together, dun understand? not to worry, look below for more evidence of such incidents occuring.

thirdly, the obvious disparity in which treatment is given is obvious. it's hard to try to be oblivious or try to ignore it becoz u simply can't. consider this scenario. (a) meets (b) lets say in the toilet and (b) completely ignores (a), pulls a long face and walk off. the (b) meets (c) and guess what happens? fyi (c) and (a) have known (b) for equal number of years and the relationship is supposed to be a superior(b) and subordinate(a) and (c) type, yea u get the picture. so what is the outcome when (b) and (c) meets? probably u will expect the same thing from the previous scenario to occur again. but wait, it's not, it's a shocking 180 degrees change in attitude. (b) takes the initiative and goes up to talk with (c), and to luff, and to hi-ha to (c) in front of many ppl. talk abt keeping a distance or being indifferent, woah.

fourthly, there was this sacred burial yesterday. all were suddenly asked to gather though permission were given to go. what important event could it be about? oh, it's the awarding of the 'best bootlicker' plag! oh my, how straightforward can i be. guess what, i felt an intense stare boring belligerently onto me during the burial so i turned, indeed a sharp gaze was cast upon me coz i wasn't exactly in the 'smile and clap' mood. what to do? make me feel so uneasy that a murderous intent was upon me, so i forced a smirk and placed my hands tgther. i felt a strong surge in my stomach abt my insides rumbling, wow those winners of the plag are like being on cloud nine, being described as the creame of the top, the most superior of all....bootlickers! congratz. like what some1 told me at the end of the burial: can't stand it, those suck-ups. haha, how true.

ok, off to sleep and study tmr for my Os, better dun let these stuff bother me that much coz i shld be used to it liao, or immune to such stuff. so yea, ciao.